Time to Get Off the Couch....

Wow, ever feel like the preacher is speaking soley to you and prepared his sermon just for you? That was me today. First off, I've been feeling pretty horrible the last 10 days at least - severe anxiety attacks - the moment the anxiety med wears off, instant cold sweat, rapid heart rate, shakes, feeling like I'm going to die...no joke. Seriously, getting up and getting everyone breakfast is all I can do. Having terrible insomnia, feeling so tired and weary but finding no solace because sleep doesn't arrive very often. Getting sidetracked....

Over the course of the last few months I have felt like I should go on the next mission trip our church is doing - to Kenya. Ok, I admit, I'm pampered, babied, have not lived a rough life really at all and missions have never really been "my thing". Everyone I know has gone on mission trips but I was just fine and dandy watching them go or hearing about their trips from the comforts of my "couch". So, the past week I have convinced myself I was not going to go to the information meeting at church tonight (Sunday) and I was going to blow off this mission trip. I had a million excuses as to why I wasn't going to do it. I mean come on, I did my good deed for the year, I showed up and fed people at The Ronald McDonald house. I gave 3 hours of my time.

So, at church on of my friends who is kinda on the "mission team" asked if I was going to the meeting. I said no and gave my list of excuses - I'm not cut out for it, the cost is too much, it's going to be too hard of work, sleeping conditions I'm sure were going to stink - I can't even sleep in my $2k mattress how could I possibly sleep in Africa? The flight is going to be long - on and on. Well, Rob - our minister - honest to goodness addressed everyone - every SPECIFIC one of the examples I had given to Barb before church. After the sermon as we were going to communion I saw Barb in line and said "I guess I'm going to be at the meeting tonight after all". lol

There are many reasons to stay on the couch and fast forward the yucky parts on to someone else - and we each have our own couch that is holding us back. I sure the heck hope that the reason for the panic attacks and depressive state I'm feeling is attacks from the enemy (Satan) trying to hold me back. I don't get real preachy or spiritual on my blog, heck, I'm not too spiritual in my day to day life - I fall so short of the standards I set for myself. But, eventually, you just have to trust God and make the leap I guess...

Volunteering

Tomorrow we are serving lunch at the Ronald McDonald house at Riley Childrens Hospital here in Indianapolis. We are doing it with our small group from church and I'm so excited. It's exciting for several reasons: 1. We get to do something for people who are suffering watching their children be sick, 2. we get to bless others when we are overflowing with blessings and 3. our kids get to help participate and be a part of it. I would love to say I volunteer all the time - but I would be not telling the truth if I did. Anytime I do volunteer - it ALWAYS blesses me much more than the recipient. I just have been praying for the families whose children have had extended stays at the hospital and for a speedy recovery for them. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in the parents shoes. I love Jesus and I would love to say I put Him first in everything - but again, I wouldn't be telling the truth. I put my children first almost always and that isn't the correct way on the life priority list. I need to be working on this!

Totally changing topics - with the luxury of facebook and blogs - it gives people a glimpse, well, a small glimpse into our lives. What makes me shake my head, want to scream from the mountains and then almost pee myself from laughing - is how horribly sad it is at how fake people are. They will talk like they are Jesus who is walking on water or Mother Theresa herself - with great parenting skills, patience like Job, wisdom like Einstein - the list could go on and on. But...people who have been around the aforementioned - know they are a pathetic, pathological liar who is flat out bat ass crazy. I just don't get it. I know I don't have an edit button. I know I should zip it much more often than I do - but what is going on in the lives/life of these people that requires them to have one "real" face at home, behind closed doors - and then a totally different "outward face". I'm a tell it as I see it type of person - and that type of person, like myself generally equals a love me or hate me type of reaction. But, that is fine by me. You either accept me for who I am - because I am NOT afraid to BE WHO I AM all the time. I don't need to put on super-mom who has it all together when in front of other family members or friends and then be a raving psycho-path while at home. But...that's just MY opinion.

And finally, I jump off of my high soap box to ask that if you pray - which, if you read my blog you more than likely love Jesus, believe in Him and pray - can you remember Ava and ask for healing on her tummy and acid reflux. She went to the Dr. this morning and more than likely it is acid reflux. I don't know if it's flaring up (she's never had a problem before this month) because she's been anxious about starting school, meeting new friends and all that is involved there. But, I hate seeing her in pain.

That's all I have! Not too exciting - lots of ranting and crazy talk - but that's me. heehee I vow to be a better, more frequent blogger!

What a day!!!!

Wow...woke up early this morning when the alarm went off as soon as my alarm went off. Ava came down and I made her breakfast and she continually talked of a stomach ache. As a vain, horrible mommy note - I had a day full of doctors appointments that I really needed to go to so I couldn't have her staying home. I remembered the other day she complained again of a stomach ache - we gave her a tums and it went away. So, after an hour or so I had given her two Tums and she said her stomach was ok and she went off to school. I emailed her teacher and advised her about stomach problems, called all of the doctors and reaanged all of my appointments in case she went to the nurses office and called to come home.

Then, Isabella has been complaining she can't see the chalkboard or the overhead projector because her seat is towards the back of the room. So, I had to send a note in to ask for her to be moved closer to both and make an eye appointment. We have a friend who is an optomotrist and we really wanted to give him our business. Sadly, after making the appointment, they don't accept our plan. So, we aren't able to get Isabella in to the eye doctor until September 13. My eye sight is horrid, so, I'm sure she has inherited it from me. Tomorrow morning before school we have to take Ava to the Pediatrician so we can get her on some meds to calm her stomach down.

I have my 20 year class reunion coming up and I've been KILLING myself with personal training. I've been going to a girl a cheered with and was good friends with in high school. It has been torture but honestly, so much fun. Even though she kills me, I laugh all the time. She is going to make me look amazing by September 24. lol

I had to call Isabella's piano teacher yesterday because she sent a note home. Basically, all the homework that she has is interferring with her practice. She just has had too much piano "homework" and we can't get it done. We got a program set up that we are going to do regarding practice and Isabella and I did this tonight. Let me tell you it sucked BUTT big time and was the longest 30 minutes of my life. I think she finally got it, I had to research the left hand, I don't know if that is treble clef or bass clef but I didn't know what the notes were and so I wrote what the notes were on the music sheet and she had to figure out what keys were because this Mama was lost in that area.

So, while I'm doing all of this...Steve is off having a Kobe Steak and drinking the finest of wines and I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. Not a fair trade I think. lol

I suck

So, school has started, I haven't updated at all. I'm just so darn busy all the time. Piano practice is kicking our Isabella and I's booties an I have to look at he music forever and google and figure out what she is suppose to do (insert here - she hates that I'm not musical like her father and gets frustrated during this period of time and just starts playing random musicical songs by ear....but that is not the assignment!!!

Ava had to stay home from school today because she was running a 102+ fever last night - broke during the night but still, kept her home due to 24 hour no fever rule.

I ran this morning (hated every minute of it), have personal training tomorrow (will not be thrilled either, I usually tell my trainer to stop talking to me - lol), worked in flower beds ALL.DAY.LONG I - think every weed is gone....my mind can rest.

First Day of School 2010

Here are a few photos from the girls first day of school. And yes, I am one of THOSE Mom's that buys special, insane type of 1st day of school clothes...

My lighting is all wonky because it was sooooo hot outside and I didn't give my camera time to adjust from a 70 degree house to an 85 degree morning.

Both girls have adjusted well and are really enjoying school. Ava is already trying to be high maintenance and have me pick her up from school each day - not going to happen sweetheart. That's what the big yellow bus is for. She did ask me last night "Mom, if I'm sick and at the nurses office will you at least pick me up then?". I told her on that one, I would. lol

Piano has resumed as well for Isabella and wow oh wow! Talk about it being kicked up a notch...she has the left hand going at it, the right hand going at it - all at the same time, different beats, different notes - I don't know how she can read the music fast enough to play...she must have my Dad's blood running through her fingers and mind when she plays because everyone has said he was a fabulous piano player.

I'm resumed running yesterday. I went from being on week 2 of The Couch to 5K - injured my quad (yes, I am the most accident prone person around) and somehow had to start week 4 - per my running partner Jillian - oh, I mean Kris. lmbo

I'm doing good with the girls in school. Working slowing and cleaning each room and organizing each room in the house, tossing old toys, selling toys on Craigslist, exercising and the basic day to day chores. Oh, and I'm going to start cooking - yeah me!! lol I'll begin volunteering in the girls classrooms in September so I'm excited to start seeing them in action.

Shame on me....

Almost an entire week has gone by and I haven't blogged - and there has been some stuff going on. Not real important stuff by any means - but blog worthy stuff to bore you with.

First off...the petty stuff I need to just be immature and get off my chest...I find it soooooo funny that I write about my life and my quirks and there are people pathetic enough out there who read this blog incognito and then types a quip about what I type (totally speaking opposite of every recent post I write). I'm a neat freak - sorry - can't help it, glad I am, glad I'm not a slob. I'd rather have OCD neat freakness oozing through my veins than sloppy slob genes oozing through my veins. The best part - you pathetic freak (this is not meant for the masses - it's meant for a certain person/people who know who they are - heehee) - you can take your "happy, online - pretending to be perfect wife, perfect mommy, perfect religious being you are" when those who know you even in the slightest - are seriously rolling on the ground when we see your mouth open. Enough said - sorry for the pettyness peeps...I won't let it happen again...at least not for a month or so. lol

So...last post leaves us with Alisha being crazy and going to run a 5K. We started training 2 weeks ago and this couch to 5k program rocks! It gradually brings running into your lives - and wait for it people - GASP - it makes you kinda like, almost borderline love running!!! What is up with that??? So, Kris, Lexi and I have been very diligent students of The Couch to 5K running program and have ran a minimum of 3 times a week. Cue orchestra....UNTIL...Alisha gets hurt...AGAIN. And, not from running.

I have a dear friend whom thanks to Facebook have reconnected with and she lives only 30 miles from me. She owns her own Fitness Center called HIP Fitness - check her out www.thehipfitness.com (I'm pretty sure that's her website, I will double check after I post and edit if I am incorrect). Anyway, I decided to do personal training sessions with her 2 x week (I do have a 20 year class reunion in 2 months! oh, yeah and I'm tired of being out of shape and flabby because I have been out of commission with my melanoma surgeries and my gracefulness of me falling down the stairs in March causing severe SI Joint pain) and I knew Jamie would whip me into shape! Well, I guess I pushed myself too hard Tuesday trying to impress her - lol - and strained my quad muscle. Ok, I didn't pay too much attention in school or in anatomy but isn't the quad muscle the largest muscle in your body? Well, if it's not the largest, then it's pretty darn close! Anyway, Tuesday after our first session, I just had what I thought was normal, first post workout discomfort - not any pain. Wake up Wednesday morning - my running day - and I won't embarass myself today to discuss this running session - lets just say, Kris and I definetly got an ab workout in as well from laughing our bottoms off during that days run.

I'm not going to bore you with the play by play of my pain - but lets just end it with this, I could not move my leg without using two hands to lift it to move it - and doing that literally brought tears to my eyes when I did it. I went to my personal training session today (rescheduled yesterdays for today) and Jamie is awesome she came up with a kick butt upper body workout that we are going to be getting use to doing these next 2 weeks. I think a couple of times during the workout I told her to stop talking to me because I was winded. lmbo On the way to the session this morning I went ahead and called my family Dr. and made an appointment because I knew something was going on. He thinks I have just strained my quad muscle (fingers crossed he is correct). My left quad area is SUPER swollen, like kinda gross looking swollen - well, its more than swelling - he said that that area - since the quad is such a huge muscle - has so much room for you to have fluid fill the area. So, I have a TON of fluid there, as well as regular swelling. So, the couch, On Demand movie rentals and the ole ice packs are going to be my friend for the weekend. As well as a nice round of heavy duty steriods. I can't do lunges, squats for 2 weeks but he seems to think by Monday I can do some walking and by the end of the week should be able to do a light jog workout. I really hope he is right, but he has been right about everything else when Steve or I have been to see him.

Speaking of Steve...update on him. Monday he had his endoscopy done and we found out he has some pretty nasty bacterial infection in there. Nasty enough that if left untreated it can cause stomach cancer. We are waiting on biopsy results to come in to confirm there isn't any cancer but the doctor didn't seem concerned with that. He's on a few antibiotics since the infection is one that is hard to get rid of. There was lesions that were either ulcers forming or ulcers healing. He felt that they were ulcers healing and what sent him to the ER was in fact ulcer pain because Steve had been on Prilosec (I think) for a month prior to this endoscopy and that med is used to treat and heal ulcers. Regardless, he is on it again to clear up the lesions. He should be pain free in 2 weeks. If not, he is to return back to the Doctor and I don't know what happens from there. lol

I registered both girls for school and paid their book rental fee yesterday morning. Do you fellow Hoosiers realize that book rental fee is not the norm???? Nope, we are like the only darn state that charges a book rental fee. So, wrote a nice hefty check for the girls, made deposits in their lunch accounts. I know the first day of school is going to be confusing enough for Ava, I don't want to add to the confusion and send her in with a check for lunch money and make sure she turned it in and all that jazz. Still not comprehending we have our baby starting kindergarten. Found out that Ava is going to be having the same teacher Isabella had for kindergarten. I am excited about that. We loved Mrs. Treon, I loved volunteering for her and helping her out each week and look forward to being able to do that again this year for Ava. All of the kindergarten teachers are great from what I hear but it's nice to know already this teachers teaching style, calm nature and just her overall teaching style.

Then, last night we had Ava's 5th birthday party. She had a blast! At one point though - in typical Ava style - she looks at mom, Steve and I and asked what we were still doing there? Um, sweet child - can we not be part of the fun also? Steve kinda wished I wasn't there - this store is the neatest store around. If I owned a little shop (for girls of course - which is one of my dreams but I doubt will ever happen) I would LOVE to have stuff like they have to sell - one example - a lego bracelet with little crystals between each lego! How stinking cute is that? That is just one example. I could go on and on about the neat and unique gifts this place has. I sincerely *heart* it. All of the kids Ava invited showed up and they all had a great time it seemed. The best part - you pay for the party and they have a party coordinator who runs the entire thing....aaaa-maaay-zing!

So, that's the latest and greatest. Looking forward to Monday where my Dr. has possibly given me false hopes of being 50% better and ready to walk while Kris runs. bahahahaha

What the heck!!!!?????!!!!

I agreed to run a 5K race September 18 with one of my BFF's Kris and her daughter - 15 year old Lexi. Why we decided to do this - I don't know. I just know we were kinda discussing it - smart mouth 15 year old said "how hard could it be to run 3 miles" and then it kinda snowballed from there. So, Kris got us set up on the Couch to 5K running plan and - it's a gradual process and thus far it's working. We've completed our first week of running training - the only gripes are sore shins. I've been icing them and that has seemed to help - but actually when I run I actually feel really good.

The worst part of this running jazz....is I'm hungry all the time - well, mainly at night. I could eat the entire pantry. I need to just drink water, water and some more water or eat an apple or something to alleviate my hunger and attacking of whatever I can get my hands on. So, that is really the biggest adjustment. We just have to run 3 x week so it's not too brutal.

I start personal training sessions with an old friend from high school. I cheered with her and we were good friends during school but after we both graduated, we really lost touch with each other and I don't think I've even seen her since we graduated. Anyway, she lives about 30 miles away and she owns a Fitness Center and she teaches several classes. She just recently got her personal training certification and posted it on Facebook. Well, since I have been stagnet since really January when I had my biopsy on my foot and then had my melanoma surgery, fell down the steps and had a hairline sacrum fracture, another biopsy on my foot, another melanoma diagnosis, another melanoma surgery - I haven't been able to be back at the gym.

I have my 20 year class reunion coming up - and botox just can't fix everything! :) So, I'm going to drive over to Brownsburg twice a week for the next 2 months and take a beating from Jamie - train for this 5K and then also do 3xweek some hard core cardio on my own at the gym. With all of that - I should be in tip top shape for a 38 year old woman at my 20 year class reunion! I shouldn't give all my secrets away now should I? I should have kept quiet and then showed up - and act like I looked like this all the time. Oh, well....

The kids start school in less than 2 weeks. Today we went school supply shopping and picked them up some clothes for school. Both kids are set for the first couple of months of school while it's still warm. Now, when it turns cold - the pocketbook is going to be taking a deep hit...(be prepared Steve) because we don't have anything bought. Well, Isabella's tops from the cool season will still work for her this year but she has outgrown all of her 7 slim jeans and Ava has zero - and I mean zero - cool weather cothing.

Stride Rite is having their Buy 1 get 1 1/2 off sale right now so we will probably go Monday - if Steve is feeling up to it (he is having an endoscopy done in the morning) and get them their tennis shoes for the year. Well, first part of the year - they are pretty hard on them that they wind up getting a 2nd pair during the middle of the year. I'm so happy that they have outgrown (well, I have outgrown) the multiple pairs of shoes phase. I remember when Isabella was in kindergarten she probably had 10 pairs of shoes....and she went for 2 1/2 hours (Ava will be going to full day kindergarten). I know the days of multiple pairs of shoes will be arriving soon - so I'll enjoy just buying some expensive tennis shoes for now.

Tybee Island - Photo Filled - Post 2

Ok, these are from my sister in laws camera. Most pictures are pretty obvious so no descriptions will be typed. Any photo with description - it will be under the photo.

My mom, sister in law, her mom and Ava all went out one day to the Lighthouse on Tybee Island. I think it was the oldest lighthouse/first light house or something like that. Isabella and Dialycia were still in bed and my back was killing me so the three of us stayed back at the cottage. Mom, Ava and Dee walked up the 178 stairs - and back down at the lighthouse. They said Ava was a trooper and didn't complain once - even when she had her picture taken a million times. I think she was just happy to be the only kid with 3 adults. lol

The three girls at The Crab Shack - pretty obvious. lol

My beautiful sister in law and gorgeous niece.

Three complaining beauties on the beach.

Grammy and grandkids

Me upstairs at Paula Deens Store. The apron had S.L.U.T.S. on it = Southern Lady Under Tremendous Stress. Yes, I moved the display for the photo.

Goodness, she is beautiful.

Can you read this sign??? No swimming within 50 feet...someone drifted over to this pier and was not 50 feet away...just sayin'

The aforementioned someone who didn't read said sign - went under this pier when wave #2 hit her

The making of a mermaid.

Bella had a BLAST - this is one of my favorite photo's of her.

Mermaid complete!

Tybee Island Vacation - Post 1 - PHOTO FILLED

Ok, this is the first set of photo's - my sister in law has to upload hers tonight and then I'll add another post. The whole vacation is credited to my sis-in-law Dialevash who researched it and found the cottage we rented. It was a 5 bedroom cottage. I'd never even heard of Tybee Island, Georgia - but so glad we had a girls trip and made the trek. Even though my back flared up like fire - the laughs - so, so, so surpassed my pain.

Descriptions will be under all photo's.

The three cousins sitting in front of the fountain near Paula Deens Lady and Sons restaurant in Savannah, Georgia - which was only 15 miles from our cottage.

Don't let these cute looks and smiles fool you - there was TONS of complaining that went on while we were taking pictures.

Ava on our 90 minute trolley ride around Savannah. I never knew the deep history Savannah has! If you ever go to Savannah - pay the $22 for the tour - it was money well spent. Plus, we had 4 hours to wait until our lunch reservations at Paula Deens (we had to show up BEFORE 9:30 a.m. to get a seating time. We got to the restaurant at 8:45 and Dialevash's mom stood in line for us the entire time. The line was wrapped around the building. We got a check-in time of 2:30 and we were finally seated at 3:00)


Isabella on the trolley - can you tell it was HOT, HOT, HOT there. Oh yeah - and about 100% humidity. My hair just LOVED Georgia.

Ava - always being camera ready...

Me and my sweet girls waiting inside the restaurant waiting to be seated. After 4 hours, I finally found a ponytail holder in my camera bag. Temps dropped 10 degrees once the hair went up.

Silly cousins wasting time.

My mom and I....um, why does she not have a shiny face???? Must be the Mary Kay...I even wore oil free moisturizer, no foundation and powdered the heck out of my face the entire trip, but alas, I was still a shiny mess in every photo.

We went and ate dinner one evening at the Crab Shack - it's a huge place and very popular. Ava looks really excited to be at a seafood restaurant.

My sis-in-law and I. A near death experience would occur just a few short hours after this photo. I'm giggling thinking about it. Sorry Dee!!!!!

Ok, so Dialevash follows several beach/cottage blogs. She met one of the ladies who blogs and this lady also happens to be a realtor (super sweet lady) and she is the one who has the vacation listing for Paula Deens cottage. You can rent out her house when she is out of town. So, after dinner we drove by it...

Dee and I wanted a photo of us in front of the house. Dee had in mind standing UNDER the sign, I didn't have the same plan. I drug her booty up to the porch and stood above the sign. We were laughing so hard. Plus, the kids kept yelling from the van that we were going to go to jail and get arrested for trespassing. Picture taken and no one arrested. :)

Isabella

Ava

Me and the shining stars of my life....

Sisters, best friends, best enemies - partners in crime...

Mommy and the birthday girl...

Ava showing the world she was 5 years old...

Beach photos that were PURE TORTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grammy and her grandkids....

Me, mom and the girls...the wind was a beyotch with my hair and the sun was brutal to stare into...

Ok, this photo makes me giggle - look at Ava. She was worried about getting her shorts wet, so she was rolling them up. lmbo

We found a sweet couple to take photos of us. The wind blew my hair into a million different directions and I probably cut a few people that it whipped up against.

Ok, highlights of the trip...

• The trolley ride in Savannah - I took a million photos while on the tour but can't remember what the heck they are of. The only one I remember was of the park that Forrest Gump was filmed in and the park bench he sat on with his box of chocolates.

• Lunch at Paula Deens. I got the buffet - and honestly - it wasn't anything to write home about. It wasn't really expensive $13 - but it's really just Golden Corral quality buffet food. But, the experience was good - it was just one of those places you'd regret going to the town and not eating there.

• Spending a good hour out in the ocean with just me and Dialevash. We were collecting sand dollars with our feet - but I laughed and swallowed a ton of salt water during that hour.

• Ok, I posted about this on Facebook - but must relive the story here. The night after getting our picture taken at Paula Deens cottage, we went to the beach. My mom had bought boogie boards for the girls and Dee found one at goodwill. Well, Dee (thank goodness, she is an experienced swimmer) decided she was going to take the board out to "ride the waves". Well, we were right by the pier - the stone/concrete, barnacle filled pier. Dialevash, being the good citizen she was - warned everyone about the barnacles. This is no joke when I say she "paddled/kicked" for AT LEAST 30 minutes and didn't move an inch. You would see her be able to catch her breath between waves and she was panting. I'm shaking right now from laughing as I type this. She says she would look up to the beach to see us and all she saw was me bent over at the waist laughing my butt off. Long story short - she got a couple feet from the pier - a massive wave comes, you see her bring the boogie board up to protect her head as she is SLAMMED into the pier. She disappears for quite a while because there was at least 3-4 waves that repeatedly came and didn't let up. At this point, I stopped laughing and started running towards the ocean (like I was going to save her). A few moments later, she resurfaces on the other side of the pier - and I resumed laughing. Her foot was cut to shreads from hitting the barnacles. She said that she remembers looking up during her kicking period of going no where and seeing people looking at her, once she resurfaced on the otherside of the pier - she said the people moved to the otherside (probably to make sure a dead body wasn't floating) and they were giving her thumbs up for surviving. Thank goodness, she was a good spirit about it and didn't take offense to me laughing - but I seriously couldn't stop and still can't.

She and I agreed on the following - our hair does not do well in Georgia and after seeing photos of ourselves - we need to lose weight. lol